Somebody once told me that friendship is not about whom you have known the longest; it’s about who care and never left your side.
As I go through life, logging on additional years to my age and in the process expanded considerably my list of acquaintances and friends, I realize the truth to what that someone told me. Indeed, there are friends from whom we are never apart even though time and distance limit your communication and contact with each other.
My friends I have now are no thunderbolt who knocks you off with their looks, intelligence or charisma at first encounter. Experience taught me, much later, that my lasting relationships are not with people who are social dynamite. I have also learned to be wary of relationships that give me a “high”, especially during the initial stage. They came into my life rather quietly. I can say that we are really “mababaw”. We can be happy even in simple and petty things. We enjoy each other’s company by watching jologs movie and in simple gimmicks like videoke and food trips.
I’ve been through so many things in my life. I’ve come to face to face with every difficulty, pain and sorrow. I just could not imagine life without them to hold me and tell me everything is going to be all right. Even through my success, my victory and happiness, they’ve been there and they’ve constantly reminded me that whatever person I become, or even if I’ve failed in many endeavors, they’d still be there for me and give me courage to move on and continue in the journey. We’ve been through everything, we shared our disappointments, frustrations, we even came to a point that we had several misunderstanding and we could no longer comprehend each other but after that, being there in the dark, we’d patch our differences then their smile will inspire and encourage me to stand up and try again. With them I’ve realized my worth. Who I am now is on how they’ve made me feel special despite the circumstances and person letting me down.
All those time that we’ve been together, we’ve seen each other cry, burp. We’ve seen each other grow and mature. They’ve made me stronger because of their intolerable patience. They’ve witnessed my pains and rages. They’ve been there although they were silently having their own personal struggles. Through the year’s inspite of the challenges we had, they’d always been consistent and reliable friends.
I’m so blessed to have very dear friends. I don’t have to mention who they are because I know deep in my heart that they will always be there no matter what, through thick and thin, in happy times or even in lonely times. I’m so grateful to have them in my life. As I enjoy God’s blessings, our friendship continues to mature in the way only good wines do.
When Best is Not Enough
There are times when no matter how much we share our love and give so much of ourselves to someone, we still cannot find enough reason why he or she doesn’t seem to care about us.
When we involved ourselves to someone, all we want is the sense of belonging and assurance of commitment. A reassuring attitude tells us that we are continually loved. However, he or she, without an awareness of what is important, we got to realize how much we are hurt by the person we loved and cared for. And the worse of it, we are misunderstood… we are unappreciated… When we are appreciated we know that our effort is not wasted and is thus encouraged to give more, we are empowered and motivated to love and respect more.
On the other note, i just don’t get it why we give and give but do not getting back? We feel that our love is unacknowledged and unappreciated. We give more but receive less or sometimes nothing at all. We felt taken for granted. We have loved the person more than ourselves, swallowed our pride but it seem not enough. We thought that being always there is enough… showing how much we care is enough… but the pain inside says it’s not enough… Our minds keep saying you’ve wasted a lot of time and effort, and it’s not worth it, you don’t deserve it… But our hearts say it’s all right.. You have loved and that’s enough.
As i pound on the keyboard of this desktop computer, i stop and think… that maybe that someone can learn how to appreciate me… And looking at it now, i don’t know how i was able to manage. I’m grateful but sometimes i can’t help myself not to cry. Why? Because of simple things, signs of affection that i long to see, words of appreciation that i long to hear. We should listen to words that are not spoken and feel the things that are not seen. Those words struck me… But, maybe then i did my best and it was not good enough…
When we involved ourselves to someone, all we want is the sense of belonging and assurance of commitment. A reassuring attitude tells us that we are continually loved. However, he or she, without an awareness of what is important, we got to realize how much we are hurt by the person we loved and cared for. And the worse of it, we are misunderstood… we are unappreciated… When we are appreciated we know that our effort is not wasted and is thus encouraged to give more, we are empowered and motivated to love and respect more.
On the other note, i just don’t get it why we give and give but do not getting back? We feel that our love is unacknowledged and unappreciated. We give more but receive less or sometimes nothing at all. We felt taken for granted. We have loved the person more than ourselves, swallowed our pride but it seem not enough. We thought that being always there is enough… showing how much we care is enough… but the pain inside says it’s not enough… Our minds keep saying you’ve wasted a lot of time and effort, and it’s not worth it, you don’t deserve it… But our hearts say it’s all right.. You have loved and that’s enough.
As i pound on the keyboard of this desktop computer, i stop and think… that maybe that someone can learn how to appreciate me… And looking at it now, i don’t know how i was able to manage. I’m grateful but sometimes i can’t help myself not to cry. Why? Because of simple things, signs of affection that i long to see, words of appreciation that i long to hear. We should listen to words that are not spoken and feel the things that are not seen. Those words struck me… But, maybe then i did my best and it was not good enough…
The Remaining of What’s Left
See, when I get the strength to leave
You always tell me that you need me
I have made my decision in this chapter. Had enough of this drama I’ve been avoiding but always come back haunting every time.Thought I’m in love but no, this is not real love.Love would never hurt each other in a way both of us can’t understand.It only tells us what’s right and acceptance of together to walk in the light.
And I’m weak cause I believe you
And I’m mad because I love you
Sometimes we are blinded of how sweet the feeling is, but memories will always there even though the colors fade away. We’re just merely human, nothing wrong with trying to be someone we always wanted to be.Sound of changes always calling until the time has come for us to see.
So I stop and think that may be
You can learn to appreciate me
Love always comes back for me no matter how hard time I’ve been passing.All I can learn from it are the feelings I’m enriching into my soulless mind.Words by words you softly speak will always there, no one can erase it.But in time those words are just words and never turn into sacrifices and I’m tired fighting this war alone.Too much blood is shed; too many wounds I’m revealing, until the feelings are slowly gone.
Then it all remains the same that
You ain’t never gonna change
Just let me go and leave me die in peace.I’m trying to live the life I’ve lost long ago when I’m busy trying hanging to you.Maybe I’m not the one you looking for, to many chances we tried and this situation makes us both weary.The future will always have something for you and it’s time for me to be out of the picture.I will always love you, it will never change; I hope you can take this lesson and be much more mature.
You always tell me that you need me
I have made my decision in this chapter. Had enough of this drama I’ve been avoiding but always come back haunting every time.Thought I’m in love but no, this is not real love.Love would never hurt each other in a way both of us can’t understand.It only tells us what’s right and acceptance of together to walk in the light.
And I’m weak cause I believe you
And I’m mad because I love you
Sometimes we are blinded of how sweet the feeling is, but memories will always there even though the colors fade away. We’re just merely human, nothing wrong with trying to be someone we always wanted to be.Sound of changes always calling until the time has come for us to see.
So I stop and think that may be
You can learn to appreciate me
Love always comes back for me no matter how hard time I’ve been passing.All I can learn from it are the feelings I’m enriching into my soulless mind.Words by words you softly speak will always there, no one can erase it.But in time those words are just words and never turn into sacrifices and I’m tired fighting this war alone.Too much blood is shed; too many wounds I’m revealing, until the feelings are slowly gone.
Then it all remains the same that
You ain’t never gonna change
Just let me go and leave me die in peace.I’m trying to live the life I’ve lost long ago when I’m busy trying hanging to you.Maybe I’m not the one you looking for, to many chances we tried and this situation makes us both weary.The future will always have something for you and it’s time for me to be out of the picture.I will always love you, it will never change; I hope you can take this lesson and be much more mature.
Shattered
I’ve been trying to ignore or not be bothered by this emotional drama for several weeks now. I’m just letting myself go with the flow but everything is not in its proper place. Life is unfair to begin with. I guess this line of thought is already moot. Something to ponder about. As I try to go by in a "live and let live principle", everything seems not alright, fate seems not working good on me this time.
I do not know what to do. I’m feeling lost… Maybe because of the vacuum inside that taking its toll. Or maybe these predicaments are giving me permission to cry. That I didn’t have to always be strong, that it was occasionally possible to allow myself to feel weak and let out my feelings.
Few things are crowded in on me: the fatigue, the weight of responsibility, the worry and the endless details of running this, running that. And the worst of it all-loneliness. I felt as though I were at the bottom of a great sea of loneliness. It all came together and I was at once lost, overwhelmed. Shattered. Uncertain. Dumped.
Why? Oh! Why? This feeling of emptiness is overwhelming me. Something is hanging. Questions are left unanswered. Sentences are yet unfinished. Everything is unexplainable. Everything makes me vulnerable. I want solutions but nobody can give me. It is still void. I want to look for the whole thing, every little detail that would make me feel secure, make me feel love. But how can I? Feeling shattered is a manifestation of insecurity, it is a by-product of uncertainty of the situation. Where will I start?
I’m not a blemish-free person. I would rather walk up to a mirror and look at my own imperfection. I am really affected and thinking deeply of these predicaments. I believe there will be answers. Time will come. Time is both a great ally and foe. I wish that I will wake up one day and choose the most appropriate choice and do what is necessary to reach an equilibrium. I hope I’ll find the way, soonest. All will come to pass. It’s just a matter of time. I hope to see myself someday without any reason to be sad. No reason to feel down. Only reasons to be free from the worries brought about by my current situation. Only reasons to be happy.
It is my call. My fate.
I do not know what to do. I’m feeling lost… Maybe because of the vacuum inside that taking its toll. Or maybe these predicaments are giving me permission to cry. That I didn’t have to always be strong, that it was occasionally possible to allow myself to feel weak and let out my feelings.
Few things are crowded in on me: the fatigue, the weight of responsibility, the worry and the endless details of running this, running that. And the worst of it all-loneliness. I felt as though I were at the bottom of a great sea of loneliness. It all came together and I was at once lost, overwhelmed. Shattered. Uncertain. Dumped.
Why? Oh! Why? This feeling of emptiness is overwhelming me. Something is hanging. Questions are left unanswered. Sentences are yet unfinished. Everything is unexplainable. Everything makes me vulnerable. I want solutions but nobody can give me. It is still void. I want to look for the whole thing, every little detail that would make me feel secure, make me feel love. But how can I? Feeling shattered is a manifestation of insecurity, it is a by-product of uncertainty of the situation. Where will I start?
I’m not a blemish-free person. I would rather walk up to a mirror and look at my own imperfection. I am really affected and thinking deeply of these predicaments. I believe there will be answers. Time will come. Time is both a great ally and foe. I wish that I will wake up one day and choose the most appropriate choice and do what is necessary to reach an equilibrium. I hope I’ll find the way, soonest. All will come to pass. It’s just a matter of time. I hope to see myself someday without any reason to be sad. No reason to feel down. Only reasons to be free from the worries brought about by my current situation. Only reasons to be happy.
It is my call. My fate.
My Chinese Birth Year and Zodiac Sign
Chinese Year is HORSEDate of Birth: SEP 12, 1990
Zodiac Sign: Virgo
Birth Stone: Sapphire / Lapis
Chinese Year: Horse
About your Chinese year of birth [HORSE]
The best thing about the people who are born in the Chinese year of horse is that they are physically attractive and very active. They are like nomads and they like to move from place to place. They like the company of others. They tend to fall in love very easily. They are compatible with Tigers and Dogs. But avoiding the company of Rat is always better.
About your Zodiac sign [VIRGO]
Your Zodiac sign is Virgo, the sixth sign of the zodiac circle. You are usually organized, thorough, humane and thoughtful. The general personality traits of a Virgo are that they are very helpful, reliable and precise. People belonging to the Virgo Zodiac sign are usually skeptical, inflexible and interfering. Pisces is your opposite sign. You are least compatible with Aries and Aquarius and most compatible with Taurus, Capricorn and Virgo.
Your birthstone is SAPPHIRE / LAPIS
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